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Contemplating the acceptability of individuals in romantic relationships sleeping apart in their beds?

Sleeping separately from your partner could provide a remedy when they snore, struggle with insomnia, or have a different circadian rhythm.

Is it acceptable for partners to regularly sleep in separate bedrooms or beds?
Is it acceptable for partners to regularly sleep in separate bedrooms or beds?

Contemplating the acceptability of individuals in romantic relationships sleeping apart in their beds?

In the realm of sleep habits, a fascinating trend is making a comeback - sleep hygiene. This practice, which involves couples sleeping in separate beds or bedrooms, has been gaining traction as awareness of the role of sleep in overall health grows.

The concept of sleep hygiene can be traced back to the Victorian era, where prominent figures like New York physician William Witty Hall and alternative health practitioner Edwin Bowers emphasized the health benefits of single beds. Fast forward to the 1920s, twin beds became a symbol of wealth and fashion, but by the 1950s, the pendulum swung back to double beds, viewing separate beds as a sign of a failing marriage.

However, Neil Stanley, coauthor of "A Sleep Divorce: How to Sleep Apart, Not Fall Apart," challenges this notion. He states that the idea of sleeping together in a relationship is a misconception. Sleeping separately has nothing to do with the strength of a relationship and is a perfectly normal thing to do.

Researchers at the University of Michigan suggest that sharing a bed can compromise sleep quality, potentially straining relationships. A study from the same university found that following a poor night's sleep, couples will experience more fights. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine has found that over a third of Americans practice "sleep hygiene" with their partners.

The benefits of sleep hygiene are not just limited to better sleep. Practicing sleep hygiene can help couples avoid common sleep disturbances like snoring, insomnia, restlessness, and differing sleep schedules. Dan Ford, the clinical director of the Better Sleep Clinic in New Zealand, highlights that some couples may feel more comfortable sleeping alone due to reasons like their partner's snoring, chronic insomnia, or different sleep timing preferences.

While sleep hygiene has its advantages, it's not without its challenges. For some couples, a sleep hygiene can cause feelings of emotional disconnection and reduce spontaneous intimacy. Utah-based author Marcella Hill, however, sees it differently. She states on TikTok that separate rooms can boost a relationship, as it allows for inviting each other over.

Tami Shadduck, a teacher from the United States, moved into another room during the pandemic and never moved back due to her husband's sleep apnea. She emphasizes that sleep is sleep, and intimacy is built while awake. Neil Stanley advises that the second room should be decorated to be one's own room, with personal preferences for mattress, duvet, and pillows.

From the medieval period, where the concept of a dedicated marital bed was less distinct due to communal living spaces, to ancient Rome, where the concept of a marital bed, known as "lectus genialis," was both practical and symbolic, the idea of separate sleeping arrangements has been a recurring theme throughout history.

In recent years, prominent figures like Ariana Grande, Kim Kardashian, and Nick Lachey have publicly endorsed or practiced "sleep hygiene." As awareness of the importance of sleep continues to grow, it's likely that the trend of separate sleeping arrangements will continue to gain traction.

In conclusion, sleep hygiene is not a punishment, but doing the best for each other. It's a modern approach to better sleep and stronger relationships. As Neil Stanley puts it, "Sleep hygiene is not about abandoning your partner; it's about doing the best for each other."

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