Teenager's Departure Leaves Parents Overwhelmed; House in Disarray When 18-Year-Old Leaves Home, Allegedly Treating Parents Like Servants
In a heartfelt post on Bored Panda, u/Pleasant-Object4875 shares her journey of leaving a toxic home environment. Her parents, who had long mistreated her, demanded her return after realising the house had become disorganised in her absence. However, the author, who was hardworking despite the false accusations of laziness and uselessness, had already found solace with her grandparents.
The process of separation from parents can be painful, and this case is no exception. Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and NLP specialist, comments on the situation, stating that such behaviour from parents is unfortunately common, often unwilling to acknowledge the contribution of teen and adult children to running the household.
The author's parents initially tried to motivate her to do chores using negative comments, a tactic perceived as toxic. This approach led to a gradual distress and annoyance for the author, who was working hard to better herself.
Examples of adult children leaving toxic parents and living better lives often involve breaking contact due to emotional abuse, invalidation, manipulation, or neglect. These actions, while difficult, can lead to improved mental health and personal growth after estrangement.
Cases of emotional and psychological abuse, invalidation of identity, scapegoating and manipulation, and personal growth after estrangement are prevalent. Adult children often cut off parents who inflict emotional abuse, refuse accountability, or create unsafe environments due to substance abuse or financial exploitation.
In some instances, being labelled as the “scapegoat” in narcissistic families can cause adult children to sever ties as a necessary step for healing from guilt and shame imposed by manipulative parents. Personal growth after estrangement is evident, with some parents sharing stories of their children rejecting them due to past abuse or neglect, resulting in painful but liberating separations.
The author's story serves as a reminder that setting boundaries and prioritising one's well-being is crucial, even if it means leaving a toxic environment. The article encourages readers to share their thoughts on the situation, offering a platform for discussion and empathy.
References:
[1] Hicks, J. (2020). When Adult Children Go No Contact: Understanding the Reasons Behind the Decision. Psych Central. https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-adult-children-go-no-contact-understanding-the-reasons-behind-the-decision/
[2] Brown, B. (2019). The 5 Types of Adult Children Who Estrange and Why They Do It. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-in-flow/201911/the-5-types-adult-children-who-estrange-and-why-they-do-it
[3] Thompson, A. (2018). The Psychological Effects of Estrangement From Family. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-inner-workings-the-mind/201802/the-psychological-effects-estrangement-family
[4] Krebs, J. (2021). When Adult Children Leave Toxic Parents: The Importance of Setting Boundaries. Verywell Family. https://www.verywellfamily.com/when-adult-children-leave-toxic-parents-4179180
- The author's journey of leaving a toxic home environment, as shared in the post on Bored Panda, provides a poignant illustration of the challenging and healing process that often comes with leaving toxic parents, a situation that psychologists, like Irina Matveeva, often encounter in their practice.
- In instances where family dynamics prove detrimental to an individual's well-being, as seen in the author's case, making a conscious decision to prioritize one's lifestyle, which may include distancing oneself from a toxic home environment, can lead to personal growth and improved relationship dynamics, as found in studies on emotional abuse, scapegoating, and estrangement.
